I’ve been on meds for over a year and I had no clue life could be this easy. My energy is not tied up in managing my erratic moods and I now have the focus to make actual progress. I have a new job, and for the past 6 months I have been a loving,…
it seems like no matter the perspective I take on or how I try to control it the condition. comes back. so I am treating it with respect and acknowledging that I have to work with it to function as normally as possible.
Usually I am more inclined to embrace alternative explanations for my so called mental illness; a traumatic emotional trauma beyond the scope of my budding adolescent brain’s defenses, a disruption in my Chakra balance, a wound of sorts that is capable of healing, always a way out of this label a way to heal myself.…
After months on and off of disturbed sleep and periodic mild delusions I found myself unable to even lie down. The anxiety was so strong that my heart contracted every time I tried to join my boyfriend for a well needed nap. He suggested that a weed brownie would help me knockout but I’ve had…
I’ve been “in remission” for almost 6 months. That is I have been functioning with no symptoms and no medication. Granted I have the luxury of little to no big stressors, I also have the luxury of adding on as much weight as feels comfortable and testing my growth. I have been applying for jobs…
Doing alright, for all who care to know. It’s been almost a year since I tried to off myself and I am so grateful that I did not succeed. I’m celebrating by doing something new. Maybe travel or learn to surf. Grateful for every day good and bad.
I’m staying consistent in my endeavors. Med management has been a rollercoaster. I found the meds that work well with my chemistry, but I always find a reason to go off of them. This time I couldn’t get an appointment. But I finally did get one and I’m curious to meet my new doctor. Mostly,…
It got to be a lot of pressure. I went the extra mile to try to save my relationship, planned to move out on my own again, and ace every test…I was almost there, but to busy to notice I was losing my mind again, until the depression and anxiety came along and ever so…
It hasn’t been easy these past two years, but I am fortunate and blessed to say that I am much better. It’s been a full year since my last episode, which I didn’t document per se, but was less intense than the others. I actually have some really good poetry from that time. Since my…
Life goes on after the break from reality, after the dizzying highs and paranoid lows. I am left to sort through the remnants of my physiologically-defined disillusionment. It is not an everyday concern, no, I don’t bound from elevated states into dreary depressions on a daily basis, but I do battle the side effects of…
The recent diagnosis with bipolar disorder was not much of a surprise to me. I had been tracking the helpless cycle of varying degrees of mania and depression in my journals for about a year. Somewhere in that year I stumbled across an article on about .com and diagnosed myself. But the difficulty I…
From any point in life we can chose a direction. At the point I am at setbacks have used up more time than seemed necessary but I still have the ability to venture out on a preferred path starting from now. I am fresh out of a relationship and independent living situation and revisiting the…
Or off to a start, and at the same time abandoning mental blocks and borrowing the connotation of leaving behind baby play, I’ve reached a pinnacle in my life that from here on in is worth documenting. Over the past three months I have reached some achy realizations that eluded me my entire idealistic adolescence. “…There…
